Hey There Glitter Butt

Dear Popo:

Off the top of my head I can think of nine women who are pregnant.  Of the nine, I personally know six; the other four are comprised of a facebook friend and three celebrities.  That's a lot of pregnant women for me to know and/or know of.

I've accepted the fact we won't have our own biological children, and honestly I'm not certain babies and I get along (ask Sydney about our morning together).  But there's something about having the option to reproduce, stolen from you.  One minute you're thinking "we should make a baby!" then you put all of your parts together with all of his parts and suddenly it turns into "why aren't we making a baby?".  Our doctors were no help, particularly when they said "it's not impossible, but it's highly improbable" that you will get pregnant. What the hell does that mean?  I imagine it's not impossible for my butt to turn in to an automatic confetti machine, but it's highly improbable, especially since I don't regularly eat glitter.

I'm excited about adopting and actually more excited about adopting then having to be pregnant for the next nine months.  But there are those moments when I look at Dustin and think "how is it possible that the etheral being who supposedly created us, would not want him to reproduce?"  Can you imagine what America would be able to accomplish with more Dustin's?  We'd be a country full of super curteous, physically fit, financially minded people with organic gardens (but we'd also be slow drivers who are afraid of heights). 

In order to make myself feel better, and the nine women feel worse, I have come up with a list of ten things I can do over the next nine months, that they can't.

1.  Sit through an entire movie without having to use the bathroom three times.
2.  Post a status on facebook that is not about being pregnant, having a baby, having a mood-swing due to hormones, or food cravings.
3.  Sleep next to my husband without worrying my big belly is going to push him out of bed.
4.  Eat cold cuts straight from the fridge.
5.  Drink coffee, lots and lots of coffee, even consider getting a coffee enima.
6.  Get so drunk I fall down the stairs.
7.  Bend over and touch my toes.
8.  Spend money on frivilous items without having to worry whether we'll have enough money for formula.
9.  Continue to support Proctor and Gamble by purchasing Costco sized packages of Always with wings.
10. SEX!!!

Love,
Kiki